Day 15: My 21 Day Journal

This week, a bunch of students are on a missions trip to the St. Louis Dream Center.  I'm SO excited for them! I had planned to go earlier in the summer, but I've given a lot of time to ministry, so I decided that it was important to give this month to my family.  Keeping the balance...

So while they're there, I'm praying some very specific things for them.  First of all, I'm praying that they are able to have a supernatural impact on lives of people who are in need of Christ.  I pray that the work they do will have ETERNAL significance.

The second thing I'm praying is that they will have another awakening in their spirit to the purpose that God has for them.  Some of them (not just the students; adults too) went down there with some big issues in life.  There are some struggles and distractions that have been sucking the passion out of their spiritual lives.  So I'm praying that they get a renewed focus on what's important, and continue to seek God about what He has in store for them.  He has a plan...but we have to seek Him and His Kingdom first...then He will add those other things that we want to know about.  "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you."  Easy to memorize - difficult to live out.

Day 14: My 21 Day Journal

Can you still walk away?

Sadly, over the years of being actively involved in church leadership, I've seen too many people that I thought were committed followers of Christ just walk away from Him.  They didn't just leave our church...they turned back to their old life.  I'm always bewildered and heartbroken by that.  It begs the question - "Did they really KNOW Him?"  "Had they truly repented?"

Ultimately only God knows that.  But I do believe that when you dive deeply into being a disciple of Jesus Christ - there is no turning back for you.  Like Peter said in John 6:68, Lord, where are we going to go (my paraphrase)? Only You have the words of eternal life.  When you have that AHA moment and realize what Christ has rescued you from, you are forever changed.  Salvation results from that revelation...and a deep love that grows in your heart out of that understanding.  Once you get there, I don't think you can pretend like it never happened.  So my theory...most of those people never quite got there.  Only my theory.  God only knows.

Day 13: My 21 Day Journal

What does God expect from me?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?  I think we unconsciously live out our answers, but we don't really think it through.  I think we feel lots of guilt when we sin because we think that our performance is what impresses God.  I think we go to church because we think He has a big clipboard and is keeping track.  We give $2 in the STL offering because then at least people see us participating - and it's better than nothing, right?

But what is God really looking for from us?  Why should we strive to do what's right?  Why should we discipline ourselves to go to church and meet with other believers?  Why should we personally sacrifice so that others can hear the Gospel of Jesus?

Day 12: My 21 Day Journal

The Secret Place...

Everyone has one.  Even God has one.  To me, it's the place where I escape the world to be alone in God's presence.  It's a place of conversation, meditation, reading, resting, worship, humility, listening, weeping, pursuing, adoring, waiting, seeking, passion, practicing, soul-searching, understanding, asking, and dying.

Day 11: My 21 Day Journal

This is harder than it looks. I think the pre-printed reflection questions would definitely be helpful. :o) Okay - enough excuses. I'll catch up...

I just had my two nephews stay with me for a week. They are 7 and 9 years of age. They are boys, therefore they are energetic, creative, and excitable.  That's a gentle way of saying hyperactive, bored easily, and sometimes combative with each other.  LOL  I already knew that before they came...my purpose was to bless my sister and her husband. They have a special needs daughter who requires very intensive and consistent care, and it definitely puts stress on their family life and marriage.  So we gave them a gift of a week of relaxation.  They arranged for extra nursing care and had a fantastic week.

So I KNEW the challenge was coming.  I was going to have to CHOOSE to be patient and try to prevent problems before they arose.  I mentally geared myself up for it the week before.  And everything went really smooth!  I was with my kids and my nephews all day Thursday and Friday - entertaining them - and by Friday evening, I was worn out.  :o)  But we had a lot of fun, I felt closer to them, and it was all worth it.

What would have happened if I hadn't prepared myself?  I would have been surprised and frustrated by the little conflicts that come up.  I would have been annoyed by the messes that were made.  I would have not had any ideas how to keep them busy and they would have been in more mischief.  I would have probably gotten crabby at everyone else because of all those things.  So our house would have been in chaos, we would have been irritable with each other, and the boys would probably not wanna come back.

Preparing yourself for difficulties that lie ahead (and there ALWAYS are some) is always worth the effort, and saves you a great deal of pain.  So take that approach in your spiritual life too.  What may change?

Day 10: My 21 Day Journal

So what do you do when a really bad day comes?  When it seems like every area of your life is getting messed with?  What is your response to that?

A lot of people blame God or at the very least, get really angry at Him.  He CAN stop it, so why doesn't He?  I think that a lot of the things that we really care about are basically meaningless to God...in the scope of ETERNITY.  So many things we spend time on will not matter in our eternal life.

But if we have an eternal mindset all the time, even those "trivial" things can matter.  I'm sure I won't be a cheerleader in heaven - BUT if it brings me a little social status and attention at school, I could use that influence to attract people to our Souled Out Club!!  Then they may become curious about church...and maybe then about God...and maybe they would make a decision to follow Him for life...  Now THAT'S eternally significant!!  And it all started with cheerleading! If we change our perspective about the way we look at life, we can find God's hand everywhere!

So when the terrible days come...and they will...you will still be able to see Him moving in your life if you have your eternal lenses on.  We go through seasons of mountains and valleys, and God doesn't leave us through any of it!

Day 9: My 21 Day Journal

So I'm wondering how everyone is doing with seeking RADIATION like we talked about at camp.  I used an analogy that I thought might help an idea stick.

We are all born with the same "disease" - sin.  It's like cancer.  You didn't choose it - you were born with it.  It begins to make you "sick" very early on.  Two year olds act out in anger and selfishness without anyone teaching them how.  It's the cancer.  So we learn to TREAT the disease as we get older.  When you become a Christian, you receive the cure for it!  But like cancer, you have to take care of your spiritual health so that the cancer will stay in remission.  It's like when the Bible talks about mastering your sinful desires.  It doesn't mean the desires disappear - but it does mean that they are not mastering you - you are mastering them by the power of the Holy Spirit.

In order to keep this cancer in remission, you need to nourish your spiritual life with the right things...prayer, the Word, Christian fellowship, etc.  But you also need to seek RADIATION - time soaking in God's presence.  His love and forgiveness is what keeps the cancer from killing us.  You can be saved and get into heaven on just receiving the cure, but your life will be one full of pain and sickness if you don't continue to seek His radiating presence.

Have you been taking care of your spiritual health?  How much radiation have you had this week?

Day 8: My 21 Day Journal

We had an amazing time of sharing our stories about camp with our church. The response was overwhelming - people were really touched and excited to hear about what God had done. We need to remember that our church family is supporting us...sometimes teenagers feel like they're just looking down on them. But what from I've heard, I know for sure (even though I already knew this), that most people aren't watching to criticize.  They're just watching to see how God is moving.

But I think you need to go beyond just worrying about whether they're judging your behavior.  I think it would be even better if the young people in church SET THE BAR for everyone else! Why shouldn't they be the most committed, the most passionate, the most expressive in their faith and worship?  In your youth, you have natural energy to be active - so why not take that energy and put it to use by inspiring others through your life?

Day 7: My 21 Day Journal

So today my Pastor prayed something interesting when we were praying for all the students - especially those who had gone to camp. He said something like "Father we pray that their experience with You was not only environmental". I have been thinking about that during my secret place time today.

Environment IS important to your time with God. You have to choose an environment that will not distract you from being with Him or hearing Him. At camp, we did not have electronic devices to steal our attention and time. We had no work schedule, sports practices, or social opportunities to make time for. Our purpose was to carve out 5 days to give to God. So I know we can't always carve out 5 whole days. BUT we could remove all those things for one hour a week couldn't we? I'm realizing that part of the impact of my time with God does depend on the environment that I create. I take an hour every Tuesday to go in our sanctuary, plug the iPod into the sound system, journal and pen ready if needed, and I don't take calls or visits for one hour. The lights are dim and the music is loud (worship tunes but I like that if someone walks in while I'm storming heaven, they won't necessarily hear what I'm praying). And it is a GREAT connect time with God for me. But it's not the ONLY way I sense His presence and connect with Him.

Do you think that environmental issue is a problem for you? Have you limited your God-rocking-my-world moments to camp, youth convention, and lock-ins? What can you do to create the environment you need to connect with God? He certainly isn't exclusive - the Holy Spirit will meet you anywhere.

Day 6: My 21 Day Journal

Boy it's hard to blog every day. Some people do that but I seriously don't know how. So this will be a 21 Day Journal - but not over 21 consecutive days.  :o)  (I'm sure lots of campers are doing the same thing.)

So we had this incredible testimony service on Sunday morning.  I have had multiple people comment to me about how powerful and moving it was. I seriously had the "camp intensity" as we shared what God had done at Kamp Kinship.  Worship before that was so anointed...and every student really shared from their heart.  Bre gave her 5 minute sermon and it was really a powerful time!!  It was SO good for the adult congregation to see the passion that students can have. I was able to ask them to raise the bar for their own lives so that our students would always feel comfortable in our church - that they could freely express themselves in ministry and in worship - that they would know they're loved even when they fail.  Most of the room was in tears for a good hour.  Praise God...

Then our senior pastor got up to close (we WERE the message this week), and we cried again.  He shared how he was transported back to age 16 while he listened to them.  He shared stories from his own camp experiences - times that were so powerful.  He shared how God called him to ministry at age 16.  He loved on the students and told them how proud he was.  It was just such an amazing time as a church family.  I've asked the students to be BOLD in their Christian life - that they're safe in our church.  I feel even better about that now.  I pray that even in their failure, the body of Christ will make a point to love on them and encourage them.  We are so blessed.  I know there are others who don't have a  supportive church, whose worship is full of life and exuberance, whose leaders don't make the effort to reach out to students.  I know that happens. But for those who have more - BE THANKFUL!!!

Day 5: My 21 Day Journal

Well after today, I felt a little bruised up. It was a long day of difficult ministry. Not a single teenager involved. I know some people think that teens are difficult to deal with. But I just don't agree... I guess it's because I expect them to be inconsistent, immature and self-centered. But when adults (who are Christians) act that way, it's incredibly frustrating to me. People are going through some really difficult circumstances, and I truly have compassion for them. But I can't quite understand why people don't take advantage of every possible tool that is offered to help them get through crises. ???

It's kind of like the camp crash syndrome. You can just watch the experience fade away...or you can pursue the presence of God in every possible avenue to keep the fire stoked. You learn discipline in your devotional life, go to church, worship in your car, go to prayer meeting...CHASE HIM!!!!

Day 4: My 21 Day Journal

Now we're getting to the point where people either slip back to the inconsistency of their pre-camp life OR they grab every opportunity they can to be in God's presence to keep the fire stoked. So where are you?

During preservice prayer today, I remembered the intensity of preservice prayer on Tuesday and Wednesday night at camp. With a little direction, students were crying out to God in fervent prayer. They were spread out all over the chapel, worshipping and interceding in their own way. I saw that again tonight from the students who were there. They were focused and some had intense moments where I could tell they were having a serious conversation with God. That is what it's going to take... A serious pursuit of His presence and His touch!

Day 3: My 21 Day Journal

One of the toughest things about a great week of camp is coming home. Going home doesn't have to mean automatic deflation of an incredible mountain-top experience...but, sadly, it usually does. Part of that is spiritual immaturity - which is totally understandable. Teenagers are still growing and developing physically and emotionally. Spiritually, they are often just coming in to their own faith. They're just realizing that they can't live off their parents' experience and advice. So immaturity (even though it's a word they don't care for) is a big factor in the "camp crash".

But another big one is the circumstantial stuff they come home to. The people who weren't there didn't share the same God-moments...life just went on as usual. The problems they left were waiting when they got home. The consequences of previous choices were still lingering, waiting to be paid. And then of course - the enemy of our souls knows just what buttons to push to bring us crashing down to reality. Just in our church, people experienced death of someone close, enormous relationship pressure, serious family conflict, and near depression. No one seems to have been spared. I warned them...when we experience something intense like that week of camp, Satan will not let that go quietly.

So now what?? What do we do with that?

Day 2: My 21 Day Journal

One of my favorite things about being at camp is that the students get really close. It makes sense. They're experiencing a powerful time together. People let their guard down at the altar. They encourage each other to worship, pray, and be vulnerable. I saw tough guys crying out to God. I saw popular kids with tears streaming down their faces. I saw outcasts being accepted and embraced during prayer. I saw quiet, awkward kids stepping up to take responsibility for what God was saying to them. The presence of God is a place of transformation. True repentance goes from a change in thinking to a change in behavior. The environment at camp makes it easy to have a change in thinking. But the change in behavior can't be tested until you go home. As I watched the change in thinking take place - in even the toughest cases - I couldn't help but have some fear about whether they are strong enough for the change in behavior that needs to follow.

Immediately on Monday night, there was an electricity at the altar. People went up even if the altar call didn't apply to them. They were just so hungry for God's touch, it didn't seem to matter what it was about. Sometimes Monday services are the "warm up" time and we don't expect much. But this time the standard was set high right from the start! I went to sleep that night SO excited to see what was coming next.

Day 1: My camp 21 day journal

I am going to attempt to record some thoughts about summer camp this year. I am doubtful that I can find adequate words to describe it, but here goes... I knew as we packed up the van that the students were expecting - even needing - a special week in God's presence. There were some who have had a difficult time the last few months, so I understood what they were looking for. But there others that didn't have any specific struggle going on, other than just feeling "dry" in their spiritual life. Students always look forward to camp. But there was something different this year.

I think it's related to the same hunger that's been rising in our church. We've been at a "stuck" place and are feeling this sense of frustration about how to move on from this place. We know that God wants us to seek a deeper connection with Him. So there we were...packing up to leave. There were students who were hoping to have fun and meet new people. There were some who were excited to hang out with old friends. Some were truly hoping for a miracle - a magic moment where God took all their sinful desires away and made them a better Christian. Some just wanted the intensity of worship and altar services, but didn't really want God to change them too much. Others were desperately hoping that God would answer their questions about where to go from here. The adults were just holding their breath and praying that something meaningful would happen. I think what God ultimately decided to do was beyond any of those expectations.